


I Could Never Read You

by Escanor



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (the sin will only be in chapter five though so if you're not down for smut you can stop at ch4), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Dirty Secrets ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), Escanor isn't writing a rarepair for once, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Getting Together, Grinding, Hand Jobs, M/M, Teasing, They're in ch4 only and are only implied, Triggers are included in the notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-09-26 05:27:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9864950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Escanor/pseuds/Escanor
Summary: In which Oikawa discovers he isn't as cool and collected as he thought he was and Iwaizumi finally calls Oikawa by his actual name.





	1. Of Mad Dogs and Poison

"See you all tomorrow!" Iwaizumi waved a short goodbye before leaving the gym.

"Bye bye!!" Oikawa echoed, following closely behind him. Their practice had gone well, although the "Mad Dog" would still require a vast amount of training to become truly reliable. Oikawa wasn't too concerned though, in his opinion, Kyoutani was more of the ace up his sleeve type than the dependable ace he already had. The thought reminding him of the task in hand, he skipped forward a bit to catch up with his true ace.

"Good game, Iwa-chan!" he piped up cheerfully. He received a glare in response, as per usual.

"You're tossing to Kyoutani too much! He'll never learn if you only give him what he wants."

"Ah... always so hard to please, aren't you?" Oikawa sighed. "I bring out his best, isn't that my job?"

"He isn't a team player. If he's going to compete with us he has to learn how to work with us, and you need to teach him, not let him run amok and do his own thing!"  


"Yes, yes, he'll get there. He's our wildcard for now, let's leave it at that."

“If he barely respects us how can expect him to listen to the second years? This is our last year, and if you don't want Seijou to fall after we leave then YOU have to train him! Idiot!"

"...Yes sir..." Oikawa replied grudgingly. Who was the captain of this team again? It sometimes crossed his mind to remind him, but Iwaizumi had always been able to see the flaws he couldn't, so he bore with his complaints. He looked up as Iwaizumi grunted a sound that indicated the topic was over, but that he most definitely did not believe Oikawa would listen to him. As always, he was completely right.

"So how are the entrance exams coming along?" he asked. As if the previous subject hadn't brought him down enough.

"Iwa-chaaaan, why do you do this to me?" Oikawa wailed, slumping miserably. "They're so hard that even I have to study! ... eh?" he asked, not catching whatever Iwaizumi had muttered.

"Shouldn't you be thankful you're finally learning how to study, you smartass?"

"I already-"

"Studying volleyball doesn't count, idiot."

"Hmph!" Oikawa replied, feeling very put out. He put a lot of work into studying volleyball, thank you very much.

 

 

They walked in silence for a while, getting as far as the bridge that marked the halfway point of their journey home before Oikawa had had enough.

"Gyaaaaaa, I just want to go to regionals already!"

"Not nationals?"

"Obviously nationals, but regionals come first." Oikawa explained petulantly.

"Hm."

"And then we'll get to play them all again, and we'll beat Shiratorizawa this time, definitely!"

"Of course we will. BUT NOT WITH THAT WILDCARD-"

"Okay, okay, I'll try and get him to work with us more! He just doesn't listen to me..."

"Then don't give him a choice. Hey..." Something of an evil glint unveiled itself in Iwaizumi's eyes. "What do you think it would be like if we had Ushiwaka on our team?"

Oikawa recoiled in horror.

"That's the worst thing you've ever said, Iwa-chan!"

Iwaizumi shrugged. "What would it be like though?"

"Aside from being the most terrible idea ever?! I don't think we'd have much competition. How about we have that Bokuto-san instead? His spikes are excellent, and at least he’s not-"

"You could train Kyoutani to spike like that if you bothered. What about Karasano's freak quick duo?"

"Ugh, I don't like them either!" Iwaizumi's eyebrow raised in amusement.

"Shittykawa, you don't like anyone."

Spinning and flashing the sweetest smile he could, Oikawa sang, "Oikawa-chan has always liked Iwa-chan!~"

"Shut up, idiot. I'll throw up on you." Iwaizumi replied, deadpan. Oikawa pouted. "What about that 2 metre guy from Kakugawa?"

"Um, he'd certainly be useful, but from what I saw his skills are definitely lacking. The iron wall of Date Tech would be more efficient right now."

"Hm. So who'll be the libero in this ultimate team? Again, the Karasano-"

"I think our libero is just fine!"

"I think you have a grudge."

"I don't have a grudge!"

"And they didn't even beat us, you're pathetic."

"Iwa-chan!"

"And the ace?"

"eh?"

"Who will be the ace?"

"Ace?" Oikawa resisted the urge to roll his eyes. So that's what this was about, though it was strange if Iwaizumi really was fishing for compliments. His ever-so-slightly mean side twinkled into action, and he decided to leave Iwaizumi hanging that little bit longer. "Hey, if you're going to keep going on about this I should write it down!" Oikawa fumbled in his bag for a pen, quickly producing one and preparing the inside of his wrist to take notes on.

"Hey." Iwaizumi said softly. Oikawa turned to face him. His head was cocked slightly to the side and he was smiling a little. Oikawa was pretty sure this was the same face he made when going for intimidation. And he was definitely intimidated. "Who is the ace?"

Oikawa chuckled. "Well my team wouldn't be complete without Iwa-chan! So who did we have, you, me, Watachi..."

"Hey." Iwaizumi said again, this time grabbing his hand and pulling it down to his side. The unexpected movement threw Oikawa off balance, and he stumbled backwards into the railings of the bridge.

"What?"

"You shouldn't write on your skin. You'll get ink poisoning." His low, soft tone continued to send shivers down Oikawa's spine.

"Ah-I heard that's just a myth..."

"You don’t want to get poisoned, do you?"

"Iwa-chan, what..."

"Do you?"

Oikawa laughed nervously. "If it bothers you that much I can just use paper-"

"You haven’t answered my question." He leant in, near enough that Oikawa could feel his breath on his ear.

"Iwa-chan...?"

He leant closer still, pressing down harder on Oikawa's hand, pinning it to the top of the railing.

“Oikawa, I-“ He said as he pressed even closer, causing Oikawa's hand to lose its grip. His peripheral vision caught his pen falling to the river below.

"Iwa-!"

"Hmph." Iwaizumi muttered, and immediately continued on his journey home like nothing had ever happened. Oikawa stared after him, having to manually instruct himself on how to peel his clammy hand from the railing. His clothes clung to him with new sweat, and as he glanced down to the river below, he tried to figure out what had just happened. Had he been threatened? This wasn’t like Iwa-chan, it wasn’t like him at all. After a few laborious moments of regaining control of his breathing, he jogged cautiously to catch up with his friend. Whatever that was, he was certain of one thing. What he felt there, was most definitely fear. And he had never felt afraid of Iwa-chan.


	2. Of Failures and Charms

"YAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRHHHH" came the now familiar yell. He'd acted without thinking again. God, he was really out of it. Grimacing, he braced himself for the onslaught he felt looming behind him.  
  
"WHAAAAT?! SHITTYKAWA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THAT'S THE EIGHTH TIME YOU'VE TOSSED TO HIM INSTEAD OF ME!"  
  
"Sorry, sorry, Iwa-chan, I'll make up for it!" A contemptuous scowl later and Iwaizumi returned to his position without further argument.  
  
"Hey, Oikawa-san, are you alright?" Hanamaki piped up. "You're really spacing out today."  
  
"Ah- ah ha ha ha! I just have the entrance exams on my mind! You little second years will get to experience this joy in no time!" he laughed, mechanically patting said second years on the head. Despite his incredible awareness of other people's personalities and pinpoint ability to predict their actions, he found it very difficult to do the same for himself - and now that he was actively trying to "act natural", it must be painfully obvious. Of course, Hanamaki wasn't wrong, but he hadn't been spacing out - he'd been having flashbacks. During a typical toss he would consider all of his options, but today, whenever he got to Iwaizumi he would flash back to that moment where his pen fell, reliving that breath on his ear and the pressure on his hand, and he would completely freak out and toss the opposite way. He really didn't have time to think about that though, as their opponents serve was flying over his head at that very moment.  
  
"Oikawa-san!" Kindaichi yelled, recieving the ball. Raising his arms, Oikawa attempted to steady himself. He had to pass to Iwa-chan this time no matter what, for his own sake more than the outcome of the game. He caught the ball with ease, and tossed.  
  
"Iwa-chan!" he shouted, his throat tightening. It was low. Another failure.  
  
"AAAAAAARH!" Iwaizumi yelled as he leapt for the ball, the ace fulfilling his duty, hitting even the most difficult toss, except-  
  
"IWA-CHAN!" Oikawa shrieked as Iwaizumi crashed to the ground, Kyoutani shoving past him to score the low ball. The game was immediately put on hold as Oikawa rushed towards him, to ensure his friend was okay.  
  
"Iwa-chan, are you alright?" Oikawa asked, noting Kyoutani's quiet apology to the one senpai he respected. Iwaizumi though, either couldn't hear him, or didn't care. He glared at Oikawa, eyes blazing.  
  
" _That_ could have been avoided." he spat. Oikawa's chest tightened as he looked away, his breath caught in his throat. "I think you should take a break." Iwaizumi finished venomously, before rising to jog around the court. Biting his lip, Oikawa forced himself to stand. He barked out an order to practice amongst themselves, before striding towards the door.

 

 

He sat himself down in the locker room with a long, defeated sigh, and ran his hands through his hair.

"Have I been benched again?" he thought aloud, chuckling. Moments later, his grin twisted into a grimace. "At least this time I know what I'm here for, but what am I supposed to do without Iwa-chan?" Being benched was one thing, but having Iwaizumi be the one to send him there and not stay with him? It was... awful.  
  
A sharp knock on the door jerked him from his sorrowful trance. "Iwa-" he began softly, before a loud "Oikawa-san?" blared through the door.  
  
"Oh."  
  
The handle turned and Kindaichi entered the locker room. He subtly looked Oikawa up and down - not subtly enough to avoid catching his attention, but Oikawa appreciated the effort.  
  
"Look, I know Iwaizumi-san's giving you a hard time, but there's nothing to worry about. Kyoutani would have jumped no matter how high you tossed that ball."  
  
"Ha, yeah. I guess Mad-Dog-chan still needs more training."  
  
Kindaichi nodded. "I'd say so. He said sorry this time though, that's a start."  
  
"That's just because it was Iwa-chan!" Oikawa complained. Kindaichi grinned as he grabbed his spare water bottle and made to leave.  
  
"It's still an improvement though!"  
  
"Tch, whatever."

  
Alone again, Oikawa reclined back on the bench, an action of habit as opposed to comfort. He had screwed up today, it was the honest truth and yet... it hurt so much more than it should. As captain, he was adept at taking the blame, unpleasant though it was, and _yes_ Kyoutani should have known not to jump, whose fault could _technically_ be pinned on him. There was just something else niggling at the back of his mind. From having flashbacks and screwing up and tossing low, he'd really pissed off Iwaizumi, whose eyes were fierce enough to make even Kyoutani bow his head. Oikawa had never seen him so infuriated. Hopefully it was just due to the pain of his fall, but even so, Oikawa felt bizarrely choked up at the whole event. He wasn't about to cry just for being benched but there was definitely something sticking in his throat, something that would be immediately evident should anyone attempt to make conversation with him. Reluctantly, he accepted that he only really had one option. There was only about half an hour left, anyway, so Oikawa quickly changed out of his volleyball kit and back into his school uniform. It's not like he would be missing out on anything.

  


  
Oikawa had only just passed the school gate when he heard footsteps approaching. Or foot _ **sprints**_ , if you're going for accuracy.  
  
"And just where do you think you're off to, Shittykawa?" A very unkempt Iwaizumi shouted as he approached, still in sports garb but with a heap of what appeared to be school uniform bundled in his arms. Oikawa's pace increased slightly, though he could feel his soul ready itself for ascension as he prepared for the doom he could not escape.  
  
"For a walk?" he attempted.  
  
"With your uniform and schoolbag?"  
  
Oikawa laughed nervously. "Shot down immediately, how unkind."  
  
Iwaizumi breathed a quick laugh as he slowed his run to match Oikawa's pace. A laugh that suggested Oikawa may not actually be in for the doom he had anticipated.  
  
"Try a better excuse next time." he said with a smirk.  
  
Resisting the urge to say _try not to scare me so much next time_ , Oikawa rolled his eyes. This actually seemed strangely normal. His normal, steady, wisecracking Iwa-chan. The fire in his eyes was a gentle flickering like it usually was, not the raging blaze they had been earlier. Before long, Oikawa had fallen back into step with Iwaizumi.

 

 

Not much further on, Iwaizumi began.  
  
"Hey, Oikawa, I - what's with that face?"  
  
"It must be serious if you're calling me Oikawa!" he exclaimed, realising his nervous expression had been too easy to read and contorting it into one of faux wide-eyed wonder instead.  
  
"Shut up, Shittykawa!" Iwaizumi replied, punching him semi-gently on the arm. "I was just going to apologise. For yesterday."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"I'm sorry about what happened, I don't know what came over me. I hope I didn't freak you out or anything." Iwaizumi explained. He kept his cool exterior as usual, but his eyes averted his friends gaze and his head was tilted away. It appeared, though it couldn't be proven, that Iwaizumi was concealing a blush. “It won’t happen again.”  
  
Oikawa grinned, performing a well-practiced stage gasp.  
  
"Don't tell me you've fallen for my charms too, Iwa-chan?"  
  
"How could I fall for something you don't have?" he retorted without missing a beat.  
  
"Waaah, you're so cruel!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been working on this quite a lot today, and chapters 3 and 4 are pretty much ready and of a similar length. Five though....*how does one smut without cringing*
> 
> Also if Iwaizumi is OOC I can explain...(trust me)
> 
> Finally thank you for reading my first chaptered fic! It's quite the new experience for me so I appreciate it ^^


	3. Of Paths Old and New

Rest day is just a fancy way of saying scheduled laziness. As such, Oikawa was chilling upside down on his sofa, watching alien documentaries as he had been for the past three hours. They weren't great, all conspiracy theories and no actual science, but unfortunately that was the content of the vast majority of them. Growing up is a pain, Oikawa thought. He missed the days where he could watch these documentaries wide-eyed, instead of dealing with the unquenchable thirst for knowledge he now bore with. Sighing, he tugged in vain at the red sleeve sitting stubbornly on his mid-forearm, as usual achieving no further stretch in the material. The sweater was definitely getting too small for him, it barely even covered his stomach when he stood, but there's no way he could ever throw it out. The GREYS logo was just too precious to him. He allowed his mind to wander back to when Iwa-chan got it for him, a gift for his eighth birthday, and then on his fifteenth too, after he had complained about how much he missed it. He hadn't been hinting or anything, so was very pleasantly surprised when July 20th had rolled around. He was just considering asking Iwaizumi for it again for his next birthday, when his mother walked in and spoke, apparently completely oblivious to his unusual TV viewing position.  

"Tooru dear, Iwa-chan's at the door."

"Oh, okay." 

"He says he's looking for my idiot son..." 

Oikawa sighed. Of course he was.

"...so if you could just direct me to him? I didn't know I had one."

Oikawa chuckled, glowing, and inelegantly clambered off the sofa.  

"Maybe he'll be satisfied with just me." he replied to his mother's encouraging smile, and left to greet his friend.  

 

   
Iwaizumi did indeed appear to be satisfied with "just Oikawa". He demanded that he accompany him on a walk, and seeing as he had nothing better to do, Oikawa accepted - not that he would have turned him down if he had had something better to do.    
   
It was something of a surprise though, when Oikawa realised they were treading down a very well-travelled path, a route that both of them were intimately familiar with. He probably couldn't give you directions, but could still race down this trail blindfolded, even if it had been years since his last journey this way. Eventually, Iwaizumi led him out of the undergrowth that was so much harder to escape in their adult bodies, and turned to face his destination.    
   
The hideout.    
   
A very unoriginal name for a place that had borne so many creative adventures. The stories they told here, the games they played here, the very aura of this place still held Oikawa firm in its rose-tinted grasp. The trees, appearing so much smaller now that he was grown, had not changed at all, he could still feel the ache in his back and knees from all the times he had fallen out of them.  

"It was your own fault that you fell so often." Iwaizumi said against the quiet woodland sounds, as if he had read Oikawa's mind. "You always refused to come down when it was time for dinner." 

"That's no excuse for tickling me until I fell off, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa protested.  

"It is if you never learned." Iwaizumi replied simply, and made his way towards the more hidden parts of the hideout, pulling aside the branches to let himself into the unconventional seating area and beckoning for Oikawa to join him. Muttering something about how Iwa-chan should have just taught him how to climb down, Oikawa followed.  

  
   
"So...is there any particular reason we're at the hideout for the first time in what, five years?" 

"Not really... I guess I just felt like coming back today." Iwaizumi replied. Oikawa's brow furrowed slightly. This was unusual too; Iwaizumi seemed... distant. Like there was something on his mind.  

"Iwa-chan, is something wrong?" 

Iwaizumi exhaled slowly and gazed at his surroundings before replying.  

"Nothing's wrong... but I want to tell you something.  And you have to promise to listen to me and not freak out until I'm finished. Okay?" 

"Oh please, name one time I haven't listened to you, Iwa-chan!" 

"Shut up, Trashykawa, would you just do it?" 

"Okay~!" Oikawa sang. Iwaizumi would be able to tell he meant it. Hopefully.  

"Okay...so...remember in 1st grade of Junior High, when I had the flu?" 

"Yep!" Oikawa nodded. "You were off for two weeks, right? You even missed club!"  

"Yeah, that's right..."  

Iwaizumi seemed to be struggling to find the right words to say next, so Oikawa decided to fill the silence.  

"Hey, did you know I came over to tell you to get better? Auntie Iwaizumi didn't let me in because you were too contagious, but she said she'd give you that bento I made to make you get better, did you eat it?" 

"It was nothing but rice and paracetamol, Shittyka-" 

"I MADE IT WITH LOVE, IWA-CHAN! Oh, and I wore my GREYS sweater too, because you got it for me! I'm wearing it today too, look! Hey, speaking of which-" 

"Shut up, Oikawa! I'm trying to talk to you!" 

Taken aback, Oikawa fell into silence.  

"I'm sorry... this is... it's kind of difficult. Could you please just be quiet, for a bit?" Iwaizumi said, thanking Oikawa when he simply nodded in response.   

"Right, well I guess I should start by clarifying that I didn't actually have the flu. I really was ill at first, and Mum didn't let me go to school, but during that time off I realised..." Iwaizumi fumbled with his words again, and looked to Oikawa for help. True to his word, Oikawa remained mute. With a _tch_ , Iwaizumi continued. "I guess, during that time away from my friends I realised that I really missed one of them, disproportionately to how I missed the others. And from that I figured out that I had a crush on them." 

"And that's why you skipped school for two weeks?!"  

"Is that not a good enough reason?!" 

"No way! Crushes are fun, wouldn't you want to come back and see them straight away?" 

"Well sure, it's all fine if your crush is a girl! Sorry if this is news to you, but I was 12! And having all your friends find out you like boys when gay is still a term reserved solely for insults is not what any 12 year old wants!" 

"Oh, wait, you're gay?" 

"Wow... you honestly didn't know?" 

"Eh..." 

"You're shitty at reading people, Oikawa." Iwaizumi grinned, containing his laughter. Oikawa struggled to do the same.  

"Yup!" he declared, running a hand through his hair as small bursts of laughter escaped him. "I can't believe I never picked up on that." 

"Same here," replied Iwaizumi, shaking his head in disbelief. "So yeah, the truth is I was just crying in my room because I realised I had a crush on you. Fun times, right?"  

   
Oikawa froze.  

   
_"...I_ _realised_ _I had a crush on you..."_  

   
_"...I_ _realised_ _I had a crush on you..."_  

   
_"...on you..."_  

   
_"...on you..."_  

 

   
**on you.**

 

  
   
"You... have a crush on me?" he asked, his voice coming out all wrong and jarring.  

"Yeah, that's what I just said. Is something wrong?" 

"No, no, of course not..." Of course there was nothing inherently wrong about Iwaizumi having a crush on him, hell, he wasn't 100% straight himself either, but there was something forcing him to stare incredulously at the ground as his hands began to shake.  

"Hey, hey, Oikawa, what is it? It's alright, dude, I'm not going to do anything-" 

"Stop!" Oikawa yelled, snatching his hands out of Iwaizumi's comforting grasp. "I'm sorry I just- I can't think!" His wide, frightened eyes shot up and met Iwaizumi's, which confirmed it. He couldn't analyse him at all. He was completely blocked from reading him, his body language, his facial expressions, even the words he was saying meant nothing to him. It was like his Iwa-chan had suddenly been replaced by an identical foreigner he knew nothing about. Oikawa stumbled backwards, trying to get a grip on himself but finding his mind racing too fast for him to catch up, and raised his hands to his face in an attempt to quiet whatever was overwhelming him. He heard a cry, a loud sound he pinned on Iwaizumi through logic alone, but could not deduce it's meaning before everything went black.    
 

 


	4. Of Questions and Bad Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies! Life kind of got in the way, which resulted in this coming out a lot later than I had anticipated. Anyways, I hope you enjoy! :) Also please note that this is the chapter that includes the TWs - references to depression, suicidal thoughts and self harm.

Oikawa awoke some time later, while the sun was falling back down to its evening resting place before scurrying away for night time. He groaned and sat up, rubbing his throbbing temples with his fingers.  

"I would say that was an overreaction, but you're so damn extra about everything I really should have expected this." a voice quipped from behind him. Oikawa scoffed without turning to face Iwaizumi. He still had no idea what had happened, and was somewhat afraid of looking at his friend again, lest his mind run blank and wild like before. However, it seemed miraculously dead at the moment, if still painful, with only lazy thoughts strolling by as they pleased.  

"I think you fainted, but you could have just tripped and knocked yourself out. Does your head hurt at all?" 

"Only on the inside." Oikawa groaned, leaning into his hands.  

"Ah, that's good if you didn't hit your head. Are you feeling alright though? Would it be okay if I came closer?" 

Finally Oikawa leaned his head over his shoulder to look at Iwaizumi. He was sitting a small distance away, Oikawa noted sadly, in case he freaked out again. Yet, this time, taking in Iwaizumi's image and even recalling his words did not bring about the frenzied racing of earlier, so he nodded an affirmative. Smiling gently, Iwaizumi approached.  

"So... care to explain what happened there?" Iwaizumi asked after sitting himself down in front of Oikawa. To his quiet relief, the subtle caution behind his friend's movements did not elude his erratic perception.  

"I would if I had any idea myself. My brain just freaked out. I couldn't read you at all but that lack of whatever it was was really overwhelming - gaah, I don't know! It's never happened before!" 

"Oh yeah, I forgot. Nobody has  _ever_  confessed their love to  _you_ , Trashykawa!" 

"Hey, that's not what I meant!"

"That's not the point! Why am I different?"

"Eh? How should I know? Because you're Iwa-chan?" 

"What does that mean?" 

Oikawa shrugged, blushing. What did it mean? Yes, he was terribly used to dealing with confessions of love from other people, but they were usually girls! And the not-so-few occasions where it had been a boy, Oikawa hadn't even known the guy, so that had been easy to deal with too, but  _Iwa-chan_? Why could he not read him, or himself for that matter? Why had he  _fainted_  of all things? And why did he feel so calm now?  

 

 

Oikawa took a deep breath and attempted to organise his thoughts into a coherent response.  

"I really have no idea why my brain stopped working when you said that, but there's nothing wrong - you knew I wouldn't have a problem with that. I guess it's different for you because... I mean I never really liked any of those people who confessed to me before... If I liked anyone I'd just say it directly to them because who wouldn't go out with me..."

Iwaizumi's eyes strained to roll them as far as they could go.

"...so like, I suppose this was the first time it was someone I cared about... and so my brain got all emotional and stopped working... I guess?" Oikawa raised his arms in an  _I really have no idea_  gesture.  

"So you don't hate me or anything?" 

"God no, how could I hate you, Iwa-chan?!" he replied incredulously. Iwaizumi laughed.  

"Good, well as long as we're still friends then I don't mind what happens." he said.  

"Just friends?" Oikawa repeated, confused.  

"What?" Iwaizumi asked, more confused. "What else?"  

"Oh-" Oikawa said, the logical part of his brain finally catching up to the emotional part that had decided to run away with his voice, reminding him that usually, when people are turned down, they either stay friends, or go their separate ways.  

 **Hang on** , said the emotional part,  **did you actually turn him down?**   

 _...no?_  

**But you intend to turn him down, right?**

_Of course I - wait, do I? Am I just saying that because it's what I've always said when people called us gay? It was always in jest but..._     
_Do I turn him down?_    
_Do I want to turn him down?_

 **Why are you questioning this?**  

 _Well..._  
Iwa-chan is my best friend.    
_He makes me happy._  
_He's always made me happy._    
_I look forward to seeing him._    
_And letting him be mean to me._    
_It's his way of showing he cares._    
_If I were to be away from school for two weeks, I know I'd miss him most of all._     
_I made him a damn **bento**_   _oh my god..._    
_I'd miss him more than anyone._    
_I did miss him, so much._    
_What do I say?_   

**If you're debating it this much then you know the answer. You know what saying yes means, right?**

_I..._  

 **It means a relationship.**  

 _We're practically close enough for that already._  

 **It means physical contact, doesn't it?**   

 _It's not like I'm shy about that._   

 **Hugging?**   

 _I do that already._   

 **Hand holding?**   

 _I’ve noticed that his hands are actually quite soft... and very strong... and they’re so comforting..._   

 **What about... kissing?**  

 _Kissing?_  

 **Surely you don't want to kiss Iwa-chan, too?**   

 _I... I can't deny that..._   

 **Jesus Christ Tooru, how did it take you this long to notice?**   

 _I want to kiss Iwa-chan._   

 **You've been friends for how long?**  

 _I don't care._   

 **And it took his CONFESSION for you to realise you're gay as shit for him?**   

 _Looks like it._   

 **So you wanna kiss Iwa-chan. You've always wanted to kiss Iwa-chan and you never noticed. Anything else you want to share before you go and ask the boy out?**   

 _I really, really wanna fu-_  

 

   
"Everything okay? You've been quiet for ages." 

Oikawa blinked, startled by the interruption to the conversation he had been having with himself.  

"What? Ah, yeah, I wanna...that is, I wanna... _shit_ " he swore quietly, cursing himself for discovering now, of all times, that he did in fact have a shy side.  

"You wanna shit? How vulgar." Iwaizumi did not look impressed, though the spark of amusement in his eyes danced as he added, "Suits a Shittykawa, though." 

"You're the meanest person I've ever met, Iwa-chan!" 

"Should we get going then?" Iwaizumi grinned, holding out his hand to help Oikawa off the ground. Well aware that he had missed his own opportunity to confess, Oikawa grabbed it and pulled Iwaizumi back to the ground - he'd be damned if he let the next one get away from him. Besides, he still had a question to ask, and he could use that time to build up his courage to confess to Iwaizumi himself!

 

   
"Not yet Iwa-chan!" he declared. "You still haven't explained the pen incident properly! (and you totally owe me a pen now)"  

"I've already apologised for that, Crappykawa, don't make me do it again." 

"I'm not asking you to say sorry, I'm asking you to explain why it happened! Can't you tell me more now that you've confessed?" 

"I don't think you'll wanna hear it, Oikawa." Uh oh. His actual name again.  

"Is it serious?" 

"I really don't think you should ask." 

"Well I think you should tell me! It really freaked me out and I wanna know why! And then once you tell me, we can fix it~!" 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yep! Let's solve this together~!" 

Iwaizumi sighed, defeated. He fumbled over his words for a time, occasionally shaking his head or balling his hand into a fist. Finally, he spoke, littering his words with careful hesitation.  

"Look, Oikawa... I know it was difficult for you, but things would have been so much easier if you'd remembered I was there! I know it's hard to deal with it, and I'm not saying you should have told me, because I know it's difficult when it's so personal and I wouldn't expect you to do that, but at the same time how could you expect your best friend not to notice?!" Oikawa's eyes widened, likening him to a deer caught in the headlights.  

"What are you talking about..." 

"I'm sorry to bring this up, I really am, but it was painful for me too! To see you like that every day, so false and empty, and wondering if you'd even be there the next day... I know I shouldn't compare it to what you were going through, but that time was really hard for me too." 

Willing his mind to remain calm, Oikawa put his hand on Iwaizumi's shoulder and smiled a little at him. "I'm okay now, remember? I'm over it. I'm all right." 

"Don't lie to me, Oikawa. I know you're mostly over it, but there are still days aren't there? Moments where it comes back. I know you try to hide them from me, but you really shouldn't. I can help you." As the hand on his shoulder began to tremble, Iwaizumi looked up to see Oikawa particularly interested in the floor, grinning intensely.  

"And here I thought I was the best at reading people, when I'm little more than an open book to you." 

"You're not as complicated as a book. You're more like a five year olds drawing." 

"WHAA- IWA CHAAAANN, YOU'RE SO MEEAAAANNN!"  

Iwaizumi pulled the now pouting Oikawa into a big hug, after a moments hesitation to confirm the others consent.  

"Don't leave me, okay? I'm sorry I freaked out at the bridge, I... well, it brought back memories and I couldn't control myself, I'm really, genuinely sorry. But..." he looked up to Oikawa’s face, his own expression softening. "Please try and talk to me, okay? We've always worked things out together, haven't we? That shouldn't change, no matter our situation. Nor what I told you today." He finished, blushing quietly. The sorrow and disappointment in his eyes was unmistakable, though he had disguised it as best he could.  

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa replied, nodding gently.   _You don't have to worry any more; Of course, we'll always be together_ ; and more similar phrases all rang through his head, but the confidence to say them had completely vanished, and all he managed to voice was the name "Iwa-chan", over and over again. Iwaizumi’s eyebrow raised in mild concern as Oikawa repeated his name slowly, likely wondering if he had somehow broken him again. Before either could process what was going on, Oikawa’s hand was twisting in Iwaizumi’s shirt and pulling, his watery eyes closing as he brought his mouth to meet Iwaizumi’s. A sharp intake of breath brushed against his lips, and he felt Iwaizumi’s arms fall to the ground to steady himself as Oikawa brought his own hands up to wrap around the boy he loved. Unfortunately, Iwaizumi did not appear to react well to his touch. In fact, he didn't appear to react at all.

Clearly disappointed by Iwaizumi’s lack of response, Oikawa pulled away, cocking his head to the side like a wounded puppy, tears still evident in his eyes. 

“What?” asked Iwaizumi, entirely bewildered.  

“I already told you, didn’t I?” Oikawa smiled shyly, self-consciously bringing his hand to rest on the back of his neck. "Oikawa-chan has always liked Iwa-chan…" 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me…” Iwaizumi laughed, disbelief tugging his mouth into a crooked smile as Oikawa gazed up at him, biting his lip absent-mindedly. “You couldn’t have said sooner?”  

“I’m saying it now, Iwa-chan! Don’t ruin it!”  

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes with the same aggravated affection he always felt towards Oikawa. Looking at him though, he appeared almost entirely different. He seemed to be displaying a coy brand of innocence which was bizarrely convincing, though Iwaizumi forced himself not to pick apart the pout that Oikawa was allowing to morph into a small, shy smile, lest he gain access to the surely depraved thoughts behind it. Dragging his gaze from Oikawa’s face, he huffed another laugh.  

“This is ridiculous.” 

“You’re ridiculous for bringing me all the way out here just to say something like that!” 

“This coming from the boy who fainted when he found out somebody actually liked him.” 

“Look, I’m just- HEY! What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Laughing, Iwaizumi leant forward and took Oikawa’s hand, lowering it from its position in a gesture of melodramatic shock and offence to the still, leafy ground.  

“Shut up, Shittykawa.” He said, and pulled Oikawa towards him, eagerly picking up where the other had left off.  

 


	5. Of Giggles and Sweat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys get down to business.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I am really sorry this final chapter took so long! I've never written proper smut before, and my god, it was a lot harder than I anticipated (no pun intended). I do hope you enjoy though, and thank you very much for reading!

The suspicious glint in his mother's eyes as he hurried her out the door was surely a warning. Alarm bells screaming lectures, embarrassing "presents" and hushed "I told you so"s in the near future reverberated in his head as she eyed him from the car, glancing back in the rear view mirror every few seconds. Oikawa waved goodbye, still irate from the countless times he had nodded and promised to lock the door, switch everything off, brush his teeth before bed. He wasn't exactly a kid anymore, and he'd only be alone for two days anyway – though the definition of "alone", in this case, was somewhat subjective. 

 

Oikawa was used to hearing his blood pound in his ear. Used to feeling his pulse race, his heart beat with such fervour that he felt it would burst out of his chest at any given moment. Those times though, usually were accompanied by the comfort of his volleyball uniform, the breathable fabric cooling him as he ran around the court, smashing balls and dreams as he went. On this occasion, however, he was very glad - despite his initial self-conscious reluctance – that his skinny jeans had already found their way to the floor. While the firmly sealed window prevented anyone overhearing their activities (which Oikawa had hitherto deemed the worst of two evils) it did nothing to ease the rising temperature in his bedroom, and the draft that brushed gently past his legs, while as warm as he was, was soothing nonetheless. This relief was noted only by the back of his mind, for he found himself to be rather preoccupied. The sound of bodies, sheets, clothes; the intoxicating smell of sweat would linger in his room long after Iwaizumi left. He didn't care. Looking down at Iwaizumi, who was trying in vain to control his discontent at being unable to kiss him, Oikawa was reminded of just how much he wanted him, he wanted him  _so badly_  - and he finally, _finally_  had the chance to take him. He grinned hungrily at Iwaizumi as he lowered himself back down, at last relenting from his teasing. Iwaizumi's back arched as he eagerly reached up to meet his lips, but Oikawa just licked at his mouth and descended on his neck instead. He grinned at the resulting "tch" he received, and continued kissing Iwaizumi's neck, running his hands under the hem of his t-shirt to skim his fingers over the skin beneath, before removing it completely. He nibbled and sucked at his throat every so often, delighting in the hitch of breath it incurred that Iwaizumi failed to disguise. Enjoying his position of sort-of control, he decided to tease him further, tracing circles on his chest as he slowly forced his leg between Iwaizumi's, and started subtly grinding on his crotch. The effect this had on Iwaizumi, however, was anything but subtle. He immediately bit his lip and turned his head to the side, in an attempt to restrain - was that a moan? Oikawa perked up immediately, pressing his body harder against Iwaizumi and tugging at the skin of his neck with his teeth. Iwaizumi was visibly struggling to maintain any sort of control, and as Oikawa pulled at his hair and kissed him with a sly smile, he gasped out a name -  

“Tooru-chan...”  

Startled, Oikawa's mouth shot into a little "o" of surprise, his eyebrows furrowing in unison. Had he heard right? His own hands and body hadn't slowed their dance so, cautiously, Oikawa resumed his kissing. What in the world? Iwa-chan hadn't called him that in years. Not since…not since first grade...  The pieces began to fit together in Oikawa's head as Iwaizumi breathed another, desperate "Tooru-chan...", but there was still something missing. Something he couldn’t figure out.   

“Tooru-chan? It's been a while since I last heard that, Iwa-chan...” Oikawa purred.   

“Tooru-chan...” Iwaizumi didn't even seem to notice as he started pulling at Oikawa's shirt, something he clearly considered an inconvenience. Though he yearned for this as much as Iwaizumi, it wasn't long before Oikawa's curiosity got the better of him.   

"Why are you calling me that?” Iwaizumi was too breathless to answer properly.

“It's just what I've always-” he stopped short, blushing furiously and attempting to turn away from the boy perched above him. Oikawa's expression of confusion suddenly lit up into a gasp of delight, satisfaction and especially power, and he grabbed Iwaizumi's shoulder and forced him down onto his back, though he still struggled to try to curl into a ball and hide.   

“No, no, Iwa-chan, you don't get to run away. You're going to tell me everything.”  

“What, no - Oikawa let me go!”  

“You're not getting out until you tell me everything.” He grinned as though he was about to eat Iwaizumi for dinner.   

“No way-”  

“No? Well how about you show me then? Did you imagine I was there with you or did you just think of me?”  

“Fuck off.”  

"I mean jeez, that's quite the guilty pleasure! I can't believe you told me you stopped calling me that to sound manlier, goodness gracious, Iwa-chan!”  Iwaizumi got even redder.

“Oikawa, stop it...”  

“Hmm, well no matter what you thought, it must have went something like this, right?” He said, batting his long eyelashes as he moved his hand beneath the waistband of Iwaizumi’s boxers to stroke at the hard member beneath. Iwaizumi shuddered at his touch. Pleased but not yet satisfied, Oikawa spoke up, in a voice as sweet and innocent as a child’s.  “Come on now Iwa-chan, say it.”   

“Shittyka-AH!”  Oikawa gave a sudden tug at his foreskin as punishment.   

“That's not what I want to hear.” He murmured, leaning in. “And it's not what you want to say, either....is it?” he whispered, teasing, lowering his mouth back down to Iwaizumi’s neck and moving his hand  _oh so delicately_  along the shaft.  

“Hhnng...Ah! Tooru-chan-”  

“Oh, that's much better,” he breathed. He continued to grasp and pull at Iwaizumi, relishing each gasp and moan his varying rhythms coaxed from the boy's lips. Enjoying them as he was, it became well nigh impossible to resist resuming his position of straddling Iwaizumi’s leg and pressing his arousal against him, but somehow, the other boy beat him to it. He slid a hand nonchalantly from Oikawa’s hair, down his neck - where he thumbed at the hollow of Oikawa’s throat, forcing him to gasp – and made a second, entirely more successful attempt at removing his shirt. While he ensured that the hand waltzing around Iwaizumi’s crotch never lacked in its attentions, he could not deny that the hands on his chest alone were enough to cause him to bite his lip. So long they had spend there, kissing, but he was so starved for touch that he was sure that the moment Iwaizumi- 

“Ohhh...” The sudden heat of Iwaizumi’s hand folding over his tip had indeed stripped him of all self control he might have had, his eyes squeezing shut as he moaned in response to the long-awaited sensation. Through half closed lids he saw Iwaizumi smirking at him, and he wondered vaguely if his lack of stimulation had been premeditated. The thought vanished as soon as it came, replaced by a vacant focus on Iwaizumi's fingers as they preyed exquisitely on Oikawa's sensitive member. Iwaizumi needed only one look at him, head thrown back, eyes closed, dry mouth gasping for air, before he grabbed Oikawa by the hair and thrust his lips against his own. It was all Oikawa could do to continue stroking Iwaizumi, all other conscious thought had fled his deprived body and he found himself moaning helplessly into Iwaizumi's mouth. He certainly appeared to be enjoying himself, nibbling Oikawa's bottom lip and biting it any time he gasped, one hand fondling his shaft while the other played with the rest of him – his thighs, his ass, his nipples, his hair – until he breathed another low, groaning "Tooru-chan," into Oikawa's kiss. 

Oikawa pulled back immediately, stumbling backwards onto all fours and panting, swallowing occasionally as he attempted to get his breath back. 

"Did I do something wrong?" Iwaizumi asked, his hand shaking as it hovered in the space between them. 

"N-no...no, it's just..." Oikawa broke eye contact and blushed Nekoma red. "...you're too much." Laughter erupted from the other side of the bed. "Shut up Iwa-chan!" 

" _I'm_  too much? Really?" 

"Don't be mean! I'm telling the truth!"  

"I know, I know. But if I'm too much...does that mean you're going to take over?" 

"Take over? I was already in control!"  

"Were you?" 

"… Yes. " 

"Whatever you say Crappykawa-"   
"Hey!" 

"Oh come on now, Tooru-chan..." Iwaizumi raised his hand to Oikawa's face, caressing his cheek, running his thumb over his lips as he murmured, "Don't you have a boyfriend to be fucking?" 

The words accelerating Oikawa's pulse like kindling to a fire, he shoved Iwaizumi back down on the bed with a single hand, allowing it to remain there, twisting and stroking at his nipples while the other followed him down to Iwaizumi's crotch. As his right hand played with Iwaizumi's hole, tracing patterns on the sensitive flesh and giving but the slightest hints at penetration, Oikawa brought his lips over the soft tip in front of him. He groaned himself when Iwaizumi did, which only make Iwaizumi moan louder, urgently clutching at the sheets. He dragged the tip of his tongue along the shaft, from base to tip, then slid his mouth over and all the way down. The helpless "Tooru-chan" that escaped Iwaizumi's lips in response could probably make him come all on it's own but no, Oikawa had decided. Not yet.  

He continued sliding his mouth along Iwaizumi's shaft, occasionally skimming his teeth along the tip. Iwaizumi would shudder each time he did so, and when Oikawa traced the tip of his tongue over the same path – more a suggestion than a touch – he would shiver terribly, though he seemed to enjoy it. All the while, Oikawa's hand was pleasuring Iwaizumi in different ways. He had hooked a single finger inside, and was gently stretching the rim in time to his own rhythm. After pulling back for a long moment to slowly kiss Iwaizumi's inner thighs instead, savouring both Iwaizumi's impatience and the feeling of warm, dry skin on his wet lips, he quickened his pace and took all of Iwaizumi in his mouth before his could process the sensation, and in the same moment shoved his first finger all the way inside. 

"Ohhh, Tooru...ohh.." 

In that moment Oikawa wanted nothing more than to take Iwaizumi where he was, but he persevered, blocking out the desperate gasps and moans as best he could in order to focus on loosening him up. Unfortunately, it was an impossible task – he relished the sounds he tempted from his boyfriend's lips, his role as conductor of the most seductively sinful orchestra – they were everything he could have wanted and more. Before long, he gazed up to meet Iwaizumi's heavily lidded eyes, slowly drawing his lips up and off the tip and watching them flutter shut as he did so, and demanded, 

"Hold me." 

"What?" 

"You have to hold me." He waved his free-ish hand to demonstrate. Iwaizumi took it, still looking entirely puzzled.  

"I- I don't-" 

"If you don't stop me everything will go to waste. It's too hard to resist..." 

A moment passed before Iwaizumi nodded in understanding, and held his hand down firmly by his side. Though he was, in a way, bound, Oikawa quickly realised that he liked it. The warmth and familiarity of Iwaizumi's hand in his gave their activities a hint of romance, or at least, blessed him with courage and comfort, and made the subsequent plan of action a little less intimidating.  

Oikawa prepared a third finger to enter into Iwaizumi while his tongue traced figures of eight up from the base to the tip, and upon reaching the top, slid them inside while taking the entire shaft into his mouth. Iwaizumi had already been gasping, panting even, but the resultant moan was just too much. Oikawa yanked his hand in an attempt to relieve himself, but Iwaizumi held firm and clicked his teeth with disapproval. Oikawa continued fingering him, kissing and sucking at his member, and Iwaizumi continued to hold him down and make such sounds that even incubi would blush. Oikawa's hand shot down on reflex a further three times, but on each occasion Iwaizumi forced it to stay, stroking Oikawa's knuckles with his thumb as he held it. 

Just as Oikawa was sure he was losing his mind, Iwaizumi gasped, 

"That's enough," 

"… You're sure?" He nodded in response, still breathing too heavily to form an audible reply. "Just say if you need me to stop." Iwaizumi nodded again, then urged, 

"Do it." 

To Oikawa's surprise, or perhaps amusement, Iwaizumi did not loosen his grip. Singlehandedly, he pushed him down further and spread his legs, then manoeuvred his own member until it was sitting right at the hole. It took all his strength not to shove it in and lose control right then and there, but somehow, his conscience won out over his lust. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Do it."   
"If it's sore or uncomfortable please just-"   
"I will dammit, 'cause it's looking like I'll be tight again by the time you put it in!" 

"Sorry Iwa-chan," Oikawa replied, slowly thrusting his hips forward until he was fully inside Iwaizumi. He wanted to ask how it felt, if it was okay, but all he could do was grab Iwaizumi's hip and dig his nails into the back of his hand to try and resist fucking him senseless without a second thought. When he finally found himself able to open his eyes, he saw Iwaizumi gazing up at him, a warm smile on his face that said "Go for it". So he did. 

 

It was unlike anything Oikawa had ever experienced before. For all he had been starved for sensation for the last while, this more than made up for it. Each thrust brought him deeper within Iwaizumi, and he wanted him more each time, wanted him hotter and faster and deeper, and the best part was that Iwaizumi wanted that too. Each thrust coaxed moans louder and richer than the last, and his free hand ventured south to pleasure himself further while Oikawa's pulled his hips closer, their other hands still joined in a lovers embrace. Oikawa could do nothing but bite his lip in an attempt to stifle the guttural groans that were arising from his throat, helpless against the warm glove that he thrust inside, but Iwaizumi managed to breathe out some orders. 

"Tooru...ohh...deeper...ohh!" His breath hitched as Oikawa did as he was told, hitting the prostate as he did so. He kept up the pace, vigorously thrusting as hard as he could, losing more and more control of his mind by the second.  

"Iwa-chan...I can't-" Oikawa desperately tried to bite back the moan, he couldn't let himself finish before Iwaizumi.  

"Tooru...I'm gonna...I'm...Tooru-chan!" Iwaizumi gasped, throwing his head back and spasming as he came, pulling Oikawa down to him. The sudden pressure shot through Oikawa like a light, and with a similar gasp of Iwaizumi's name, came inside him. 

 

... 

 

When he finally pushed himself up after catching his breath, he felt a rich warmth blossom in his heart as he noticed the flush on Iwaizumi's cheeks had not faded, and when Iwaizumi's eyes fluttered open to meet his, the small smile that spread across his face was enough to make it shoot across his body like fireworks. He sat transfixed, holding himself above Iwaizumi with one hand and absently playing with him with the other, as he held his gaze. That small smile grew a little, then was tugged to the side as Iwaizumi raised his eyebrow. 

“What?” The demand came out more like a breathless laugh, and Oikawa could do nothing but respond in kind, shaking his head with the same breathless laughter.  

“I just...” He floundered, shrugging helplessly as he found himself unable to do anything but smile with all the delight in the world. His own grin growing, Iwaizumi pushed himself up to face Oikawa, cocking his head slightly as he repeated, 

“What?”  

“I-“ In an attempt to control his joyous laughter for a moment so he could explain himself, Oikawa tore his eyes away from Iwaizumi’s face and buried his own in his shoulder. “I’m just so happy!” 

Iwaizumi chuckled, before wrapping his arms around Oikawa and pulling him closer. 

“You’re such an idiot, Shittykawa,”  

“Mm hm!” 

Laughing, Iwaizumi pulled Oikawa back down onto the bed with him, enveloping him in a tight hug. He turned to whisper into his hair, which was still irritatingly poofy even after being tugged at and soaked with sweat. 

“I love you so much.” 

Oikawa smiled against his chest, nuzzling closer as he listened to his heartbeat return to a steady rhythm.   
"I love you too.” 


End file.
